Freeze
Let time freeze. Rotate it 180 degrees and see it the other way around. It refering to life. Think about it. Reflect. How have you been the past 24hrs. The past 365 days. Your lifetime.
Something struck me last night and moved me almost to tears as I dwelled deeper and deeper into it. I am touched. When was the last time I expressed appreciation. If there is a mirror that will reflect the slightest guilt. I will not dare look upon it. No, i have committed no hedious crime. In plain simple english, I see a ME who failed to appreciate.
"I am sorry. The past year, I probably put you through a lot of shit. Landed you in weird situations that probably caused you much sorrow, stress? Who knows. For all this, you never said a word. I wondered if you ever had to endure all this. I know I seldom keep my promise. But for you, this once, I will change."
This words I sent in text a thousand miles. I felt my eye muscles tighten and tears flooding in. Unappreciative? An understatement.Yet another promise? ANother to break. Who am I to deserve your trust once more. I claimed I will be with you always, yet i ran away in cowardice the moment next.
"You took me for granted"
A fools lie.
"I took you for granted"
When was the last time I did something nice? When was the last time I showed appreciation?
Through all this shit I am putting you through, let me ask. Why are you still here for me.Love? Do I deserve such an angel as you are?
~I know you can hear my voice~
Thats why I am touched. Because I feel your love.It feels like nothing. Just like how we love our parents our siblings. Its pure. There is no excitement, no heart pounding moments. Just love so innate you don't feel anything at all. It feels all natural, all normal when you are side by side. But when you lose the person, you feel such grave lost.
This we always mistake for "no feeling", IS the purest form of love people seldom recognise.Because its so subtle it feels like it isn't there.This isn't philosophy. Just a revelation. In crude words, its when i wake up my idea. How could I.
I cared only for how I will feel
You cared for my feelings
It shouldn't be this way.I ain't even talking about sacrifices. It just plain acts of a gentlemen that I fail to find in myself.So what if I do feel hurt in the end. I am already hurting you. What am I? A cursed soul?
In plain words, I call myself a loser in relations.
"...my best friend"
no don't call me that.
Best friends never last.
They never do.
I don't feel I deserve it.
Sometimes, I feel I think far too much. I guess it time I start feeling and stop thinking.Like how things were.Go back in time. When there was much more joy and laughters. Circumstances have changed. But the plain fact that you are still around with such love? It proved that feelings can brave circumstances.
~I wish it would rain for nights on end~
Something struck me last night and moved me almost to tears as I dwelled deeper and deeper into it. I am touched. When was the last time I expressed appreciation. If there is a mirror that will reflect the slightest guilt. I will not dare look upon it. No, i have committed no hedious crime. In plain simple english, I see a ME who failed to appreciate.
"I am sorry. The past year, I probably put you through a lot of shit. Landed you in weird situations that probably caused you much sorrow, stress? Who knows. For all this, you never said a word. I wondered if you ever had to endure all this. I know I seldom keep my promise. But for you, this once, I will change."
This words I sent in text a thousand miles. I felt my eye muscles tighten and tears flooding in. Unappreciative? An understatement.Yet another promise? ANother to break. Who am I to deserve your trust once more. I claimed I will be with you always, yet i ran away in cowardice the moment next.
"You took me for granted"
A fools lie.
"I took you for granted"
When was the last time I did something nice? When was the last time I showed appreciation?
Through all this shit I am putting you through, let me ask. Why are you still here for me.Love? Do I deserve such an angel as you are?
~I know you can hear my voice~
Thats why I am touched. Because I feel your love.It feels like nothing. Just like how we love our parents our siblings. Its pure. There is no excitement, no heart pounding moments. Just love so innate you don't feel anything at all. It feels all natural, all normal when you are side by side. But when you lose the person, you feel such grave lost.
This we always mistake for "no feeling", IS the purest form of love people seldom recognise.Because its so subtle it feels like it isn't there.This isn't philosophy. Just a revelation. In crude words, its when i wake up my idea. How could I.
I cared only for how I will feel
You cared for my feelings
It shouldn't be this way.I ain't even talking about sacrifices. It just plain acts of a gentlemen that I fail to find in myself.So what if I do feel hurt in the end. I am already hurting you. What am I? A cursed soul?
In plain words, I call myself a loser in relations.
"...my best friend"
no don't call me that.
Best friends never last.
They never do.
I don't feel I deserve it.
Sometimes, I feel I think far too much. I guess it time I start feeling and stop thinking.Like how things were.Go back in time. When there was much more joy and laughters. Circumstances have changed. But the plain fact that you are still around with such love? It proved that feelings can brave circumstances.
~I wish it would rain for nights on end~
posted by zente @ 4:14 AM
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